I have found myself at 32 feeling like a loser. I have had a long list of defeats and failures in the last ten years, a list that might stun most people. I have had low self-esteem since childhood, but this current chain of shortcoming seems to have started when I dropped out of colllege twice in my early twenties. Around that time I fell in love with an international student from Africa - this became and eight year relationship and a courthouse marriage. Also around that time I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and began selling large amounts of pot. I got busted in 2004 and used my clean prior record to and a lot of money to a great lawyer to get my charge reduced. At that time it became my dream to be a Marine. I thought a Marine was everything I needed to be - strong, disciplined, honorable. In 2005 my wife who I loved so deeply left me for a 19 year old guy and broke my heart in half. I was shattered to the core. I followed up on my plans to be a Marine, but bailed out during the first week of bootcamp when I made a phone call to her and she told me I was the love of her life and that she wanted to be together again. Needless to say, that was an empty promise. I ruined my chance to be great because so much of my happiness depended on her. I feigned sucidal tendencies to get out - that feels very cowardly in hindsight. After that horrible failure, I decided I should do something in music, since that had been the one constant love of my life, so I incorporated my love for technology and got very interested in audio engineering. Went to an audio engineering school, came here to Nashville and have had little success in a year. I am working at a smoothie place making nothing. I look at my life and ask, what went wrong? Where did I screw up so bad? I feel that I have a good heart - I would never hurt anyone, steal, etc. I care about people. Why have I fallen so hard, and how can I get out of this chain of failure? I know this all sounds crazy but I have nobody to talk to, and I have to figure this out.I'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?Turn your life over to Jesus Christ and He will straighten it out for you. I asked Him to be my personal Lord and Savior many years ago and He has helped me and blessed me a lot. I recommend Him to you.
Romans 10:13, 1 John 1:9, Proverbs 3:5,6
Also, read the Bible, New Testament first. And find a Bible-believing church to attend. Ask the pastor for counseling. I will pray for you, my friend.I'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?Reading your story made me think of my own failures and hardships I faced as a young adult. Although my story is not same as yours, but the heart aches and headaches all seem to coincide to some respect. All in all, you will make it one. Stay focused, have a realistic dream, discipline yourself, define what success means to you personally, take one day at a time, and, perhaps most importantly, LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. I am little older than you, and I did not get start my career until 6 years ago. Until then, it was a real %$#@%26amp;. One thing I did learn was --- when you hit rock bottom, there is no place to go except upward. Good luck to you and may the force be with.I'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?first thing first, dont connect one incidence to another when failure takes place in your life. treat each of them different, there could be so many other reason for your plans to fall apart.
always think of Einstein who invented bulb, he tried 999 times and at the 1000th time he succeeded, so comparing to his failures u haven't reached the 999th figure. so still you are a successor. concentrate on one particular goal and keep working towards it, dont give up when u fail in the beginning. always set yourself target to achieve something irrespctive of failure u carry on, surely success will be yours. good luck to uI'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?Sounds like you have had a hard life. But the one thing you haven't found yourself doing is you have quit so many things in you're life you begin to cope with that, however what you are doing is greatly inconveniencing yourself. You must take pride and diligence and conquer! With faith anything is possible. Only you can make your way. Try talking to the Lord and tell him you want to make some changes in your life and really mean it. God can't help you over night, but what he can do is give you the confidence to go the extra mile for what you want.
Don't you think your girlfriend of 8 years maybe would have appreciated you more if you would have done something honorable like joining the corps? In my own personal opinion, when you hit the yellow boot prints from that moment on, you are now a United States Marine, and you never quit once you hit those doors. Quitting is not an option and what you did was just make it worse for yourself by adding something else to you're record. Marines are not quitters. Semper-FI !!!
Word of advice from a successful 25 year old man who has went through some of the very issues that are dragging you down. And also a fellow Marine.I'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?1-You tried careers that you thought might be good for you, regardless of the results, you had the courage to try, many people are scared of change, you weren't.
2-You were willing to forgive your wife knowing what she did to you and how hard that was, regardless of her actions, you had a heart willing to forgive. The ability to forgive is priceless Augie.
I don't wanna seem like an old wise lady but it really doesn't matter how old you are or what you went through, it really donesn't matter if you really want to start all over and get your life together. I had much worse life. my father passed a way with cancer when I was about 9 years old, moving from one country to another over night (leaving my clothes, few toys...actually every thing for one last chance for my father to see the rest of his family one last time before he die), grandfather died with cancer and uncle is struggling with it now, mama (I love to say it that way :) was -the least I could say-invisible....although I miss the mother figure in her...I really love her, dysfunctional family, very mean sister (not anymore), abusive ex-husband (who was the first man in my life and I had so much to give him, I never and will never hate him, I really wish him the best), missed childhood, sexually harassed for more than 7 or 8 times, lost teenager years, divorced, not rich, and had many surgeries that my body became-literally-a map form all the surgeries' marks, stretch marks, scars...etc, don't have many true friends,...and the list goes on... Although all this is true..I made a decision to get my life on track. I just finished college last semester with honors. I am doing my master in amazing college u cannot believe its name if I told u, I did 2 internships, doing the 3rd now, have my own place and its all coming back on track. Just find yourself first Augie, and when you find it you will find everything else.I'm 32 and I feel unsuccessful - with so many defeats in my life, how can I change?I can relate to a lot of things you mentioned there. Its not your fault its just that the life is a struggle and you just got to keep learning from your mistakes all the time and CARRY ON struggling. Some things are beyond our control so dude just do the stuff which you find interesting, be occupied and expect for the best. Trust me, success doesn't matter as much as the satisfaction of giving your best effort and enjoying the work you're doing.
AND you're not alone on this road!
